So I set aside the writing for a month and a half and kept my hanging out here in WordPress to reading other blogs. What else was I doing that might necessitate a break from writing but not from reading? A little bit of this, and a whole lot of that, and then the other…

I’ve been busy….I’m still busy. It’s all good though.

I screwed up my courage and sallied forth for another job interview.

You may remember I have a bit of an anxiety issue when it comes to job interviews. I get nervous, I start talking, I can’t shut up to save my life. An opportunity came up for a supervisor’s position at a another site for the same client. The job was not the best opportunity but in the security industry, managerial opportunities come rarely so, to move up you have to take what you can if you can get it.

I didn’t really figure I would get it, but it was an opportunity to put my resume in my supervisor’s supervisor’s hand and see if anything came of it. It was also an opportunity to face down the anxiety itself and practice my interview skills. I also don’t have much experience with internal job interviews. I did one with the last company I worked for and it was such a negative experience I never did another one for them again.

This was internal job interview number two and it did go very well. I was much less nervous because I already knew the interviewer and I knew exactly what I was applying for in terms of the job position. The questions were solid and relevant to the position I was applying for which made me feel very good about my current employer. I was led to believe by the client supervisor that I was at least a strong contender.

But…. I interviewed on the Thursday (week before last) and the following Monday they onboarded an external hire. I met him the following the Thursday when he came in for training at my site with my supervisor and then I was informed I wasn’t chosen for the position. Damn…there went my opportunity to practice my salary negotiation skills! I was told I am “indecisive, because I ask too many questions of my supervisors“.

Because of that, because they know I know my job “but I rely too much” on the site supervisor and the client supervisor, I was told “your performance is below par given your resume“. Righty then…I kept my mouth shut while taking some time to process that bit of feedback. My site supervisor’s running commentary about the whole situation was actually kind of funny given I hadn’t had a chance to tell him what the feedback was.

He had been consistent with telling me how the job “is a real shit show. You really don’t want any part of the politics you would have to put up with over there. They couldn’t pay me enough to take that job.” I told him to quit blowing smoke up my ass. He was trying to make me feel better that I didn’t get this job. I wasn’t upset I didn’t get the job. It would have been nice but they would not have wanted to pay what I wanted in salary.

It also would have been a little problematic for things going on in my life right now, things would have needed to be resolved that would have been difficult to resolve right away. But I was quiet; I was doing my job; I was thinking about where things would go from there. I hadn’t heard the feedback yet from his supervisor. I figured they must have had a better internal candidate is all.

But then the next day I met the new hire; nice guy. He has a lot of experience and I wish him well. If it had been my decision, I might have hired him myself for that same position, because I do know quality when I see it. I was taken aside and given the above feedback about my performance though and well… in the interests of being professional and non-argumentative, since when does asking for clarification mean indecision?

Maybe it’s just me but bad decisions generally occur when there is a lack of information or the information is old, outdated, or bad. You can’t really make a good decision when you don’t know what you don’t know, am I right? I know my job when it comes to my normal shift. I don’t know everything I need to know for my site supervisor’s shift; which also happens to be when the client supervisor is there. Different situations occur.

On my normal shift when neither of them are there I seem to perform just fine. Which leads me to topic number two…

Yeah it is a bit like that…

Understaffed again; mandatory overtime again; voluntold to work first shift again.

Yep; 48 to 56 hour work weeks since two shifts opened up. One coworker got a better job elsewhere and left in September, a second coworker went off to school and between the two they left shifts open on both first and second shift. So…I got voluntold to work first shift which is how I have landed in the shit yet again with my “below par performance“. Scuse me, “below par performance given your resume.”

~Just shakes my head~ the job itself is below par given my resume but I still show up every day to work. I show up and work extra shifts because the pay is WAY below par given my resume but I don’t complain. I work overtime to make ends meet as best I can. I liked my regular second shift schedule however, it allowed me to have some flexibility because in September I decided to step up and foster for a local animal rescue group.

It was a shift that allowed me more autonomy; nobody looking over my shoulder, nobody countermanding my decisions and nobody playing politics at my expense and for their own amusement. I have no idea when or if they will ever fill those two vacated openings permanently. It’s been about a month now. I asked if they at least had anyone in mind, and was heard “not really. Well, maybe one guy. I don’t know yet.”

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I’m not “decisive enough”.

Yes I did say ‘step up and foster for a local animal rescue group’.

Silly me, I thought I’d be working 8 hour shifts, on second shift, five days a week when I decided to step up and help out Forever Friends Foundation. Kitten season seemed to have no end this year; there was at least one hoarding situation, and two or three endangered feral colonies in desperate need of TNR and/or relocation. So, I picked up a one-year-old mother of five and her adorable little floofs in September.

Then two more kits, one feral on an emergency rescue/TNR mission from a neighborhood here in Cleveland where local children were torturing and killing the kittens and friendly strays. They were swinging them by their tails or necks, and tossing them off roofs. Adults in the neighborhood were trying to protect them as best they could, and were suspicious of the rescue until they were won over by the group.

So I have been busy as hell with kitten business (and cute business it is; except when they catch a virus and then it’s scary business, but they are all on the mend and doing well).

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Never enough coffee for Mondays 😉

Next week the series on Nicolo Machiavelli’s The Prince will resume. All other post themes resume this week. Thanks for reading,