The Inside My Head Tag

 

Thank you Anita!

The 'inside my head' tag

Rules:

  • Thank & tag the person that has tagged you
  • Attach the tag photo
  • Answers the ‘This or THAT questions
  • Tag a 10-20 friends.

HERE WE GO:

  • How do I feel at the moment?
    • Peaceful, quiet, content. It’s the very early morning as I write this.
  • What do I need more in my life?
    • Time and money; don’t we all?
  • What would make me happy right now?
    • For my thermos cup to magically refill with more hot coffee. I am easy to please, also, feeling pretty happy and contented already.
  • What is going right in my life?
    • I have a job, it’s not the best job, but it is a job. I have a roof over my head, it’s not the best roof, but it is clean and warm, and comfortable, and my cats are happy there. I have a car, it’s not the best car, but for 15 years old it runs pretty good and gets me where I need to go. I have this blog, it’s a new blog, different from other platforms I have used before, and I still need to learn a bit more about WordPress but I enjoy learning, so it’s all good.
  • What am I most grateful for? List 10 things.
    • Family; they are by no means perfect; pretty batty bunch actually, but none of us would be who we are today without the rest; good, bad, and ugly.
    • Friends; those who are near, those who are far, those who have gone on to the Other Side, and especially those who diligently read “the blog of DOOM” in 2007, and are reading this new blog now.
    • My cats; Tanya, Sophie, Emma, and Edgar, they keep me laughing, alive, and they keep me productive because cat litter, food, and toys are expensive!
    • Colorado Technical University’s online program, my Professors, and my classmates; for showing me during the course of three degrees that education can be a lot more than institutionalized indoctrination. It can be challenging, requires the development of strong critical thinking and research skills, but most of all, it can show you that learning is fun and not a chore or a punishment.
    • My soon-to-be former employer; I appreciate that they gave me a place to work and a paycheck; it at least kept me afloat. I am sorry that I did not receive that bit of bad news from the ‘horse’s mouth’ so to speak, and got an email instead. I hope changes that need to be made get made soon.
    • My soon-to-be-current employer; you were a real shock to learn about the way I learned about you, but I am grateful for the opportunity presented. I look forward to working with you in the future.
    • This blog; I am very grateful for those of you here in WordPress who have liked posts and followed me. I decided to not put pressure on friends and family to support this blog because I did not want to obligate anyone into reading it on account of a family or friend relationship. I prefer honesty above all else; and if people read this blog, I want it to be because they genuinely like it, they like the content, and it’s what they want to do with their time.
    • Social Media and the internet; despite all of the many issues and problems with privacy and cybersecurity, “fake news”, “truth decay”, I would hate to see how bad things might have gotten or could still get, without the near instantaneous spread of information. “Can’t stop the signal, Mal“.
    • Amazon; true story, I have always enjoyed trips to book and music stores but there was always one big problem for me personally. I would go and either completely forget whatever it was I looking for, or they wouldn’t have it. So then I’d end up spending way more money that I ever should have been spending on such things (seriously, I’d spend a couple hundred at a time) only to get home with my bags and remember what I went there for; which….was never in the bags. Thank you Amazon, you are lifesaver to my budget, I find what I am looking for and I don’t buy half  the damn store instead.
    • The imparted wisdom of my elders; I do love my technology; that someone combined a phone, camera, and full stereo into a computer then made it small enough to put in my pocket certainly has unbelievably simplified my life and saved my back. However, there are still some things that are SO much better low tech, and I’d have never known about them if not for a couple of members of the older generation. A friend, and my Mom, most notably, who introduced me to the wonders of coffee percolators. The best coffee ever comes out of percolators. Seriously.
  • When did I experience joy this week?
    • Tuesday morning, May 1st, at approximately 0705 as I turned the corner into my apartment community. There are medians that run down the center of the street, with some boulders, and some trees, dogwoods I think. The sun hadn’t been up for more than maybe an hour or so, and those trees have been bare for something like 6 or 7 months now…it has been one hell of a long winter. Well, I turned my car down that street and those bare naked trees were in full, lovely, white petaled BLOOM! Spring has FINALLY arrived! Yay!
  • List a small victory/success?
    • I am not someone who has ever made regular exercise a part of my lifestyle; it’s foreign to me; no one in my family has ever made exercise a part of their lifestyle. Many of us were smokers too; though a few were able to quit, including me, 3 years ago. Last year I bought an exercise bike and used it a few times, sporadically, and then….it has been sitting there, in my living room, taunting my large and lazy butt. I have tried to motivate myself by planning out an exercise schedule but to no avail. So the other day, I decided I would not further obligate myself to a set schedule. I’d try to get 15 minutes on the bike every day, build up to 30 and take it day by day. I put 15 minutes on it yesterday, and 20 on it today before work. Small victories…one day at a time.
  • What is bothering me & why?
    • There are things that bother me; and then there are THINGS. That. BOTHER. Me. I don’t discuss the former generally, unless I feel like poking at the societal status quo and I have given it a considerable amount of thought first. I will talk about my interview anxiety for instance, because the only one being held up for any kind of public scrutiny is me. Things that BOTHER ME generally tend to involve other people; and then I keep my mouth shut because that is the decent and humane thing to do.
  • What are my priorities at the moment?
    • My priorities at the moment are getting through this 68 hour work-week, and then getting through the next 64 hour work-week. Contending with job business over the course of this month and into the next. Pay bills as they come due. Maintaining the blog schedule. And making sure my cats don’t forget who I am. Yep; that’s about it.
  • What do I love about my self? 
    • That I am not perfect; I have flaws, faults, weaknesses, and vulnerabilities, and I have never been a particularly good actor. It means I have to be a genuine person; I can’t get away with pretending to be something I am not. And when I am something; it’s not a matter of make-believe. I love that this perspective means I tend to be less negatively biased toward other people, more understanding, and in general less full of crap about myself.
  • Who means the world to me & why?
    • The family I have left mean a lot to me; but they have their own lives and I don’t get in the way.  I have friends who also mean a lot to me, and like my family, they have their own lives and families, I don’t get in the way. And there are a few people to whom the letters DW are significant; they mean a lot to me as well, and I’m never in the way with them. My cats mean the world to me. I mean the world to me too, seeing as I spend so much of my time with myself, I think I should certainly mean something to me, right?
  • If I could share one message with the world, what would it be?
    • Dear World, get your collective noses out of everybody else’s collective business. You will be happier, you will have more time to worry about and deal with your own business, and everyone else will greatly appreciate it and even like you much better when you stop being a bunch of  judgmental assholes.
  • What advice would I give to my younger self?
    • Dear Younger Self, if you want to succeed in life, do your best to fit in; it really IS all a popularity contest just like in high school (anyone that says differently is either engaging in wishful thinking or lying their asses off to make you feel better). But don’t stop being yourself; cookie cutter molds are for cookies, not people. This is why so many “successful” people are rarely happy, and why happy people are so rarely “successful”. Also, GO TO SCHOOL SOONER.
  • What lesson did I learn this week?
    • People say that the less you say, the more intelligence you (supposedly) display. If that is true then how do you explain the popularity of books? If people have such short attention spans, how come books aren’t generally 600-800 words or less?
  • If I had all the time in the world, what would I do first?
    • Hm. Do I have all the time in the world because I just became unemployed or because I just became immortal? This is a very important distinction that would greatly influence my response to this question. I suppose that either way, the very first thing I would do is take a nap.
  • Whats draining my energy?
    • A 60 plus hour work week at the moment.
  • What does my ideal morning look like?
    • I wake up to the scent of freshly brewed coffee, juice, and a plate of eggs, steak and toast. The cats have all been fed and the dishes in the sink have all been washed. I look at the half naked Adonis who is clearly responsible for all of this and ask, “who are you and how did you get in my apartment?”
  • What does my ideal day look like?
    • Any time I go somewhere I have never been before and get to explore.
  • What makes me come alive?
    • I haven’t died yet, so….or if you mean what makes me wake up? Usually Edgar’s teeth or claws on whatever body part he can find; and coffee.
  • What/who inspires me the most?
    • The human race; every now and then people see other people, or animals, hurt or trapped, in some sort of trouble, and for a few minutes, they forget to be the jerks they usually are and race to the rescue. It helps to make up for all the shitty things they do the rest of the time that make you believe that monsters are real, and they wear human suits.
  • Where does my pain originate?
    • Occasionally from my body and usually from other people. Luckily most of its not chronic or acute.
  • What are my strengths?
    • I’m resilient, patient, a fast learner who enjoys learning and is good at it. I do my own problem-solving, decision-making, time-management, project-management, and budgeting (I call it daily life). I am conscientious about my work, I don’t believe in doing anything half-assed. I’m adaptive and flexible, I am capable of deep analytical thought and I am fairly intuitive. I genuinely like most human beings and being social (though I am in the middle of the scale for extroversion-introversion). I’m also highly perceptive and excellent at reading body language and facial expression (though I don’t often react). I am also honest, straightforward and yet still mostly tactful.
  • What is something I’ve always wanted but too scared to get?
    • A motorcycle. And a Komodo dragon.
  • What is something I would love to learn?
    • American Sign Language
  • Where would I want to live my ideal life?
    • Everywhere; in my ideal life, I would be a billionaire and own an airplane decked out like an RV camper. My cats and I would fly all over the world and live in the plane.
  • Where would I like to travel in the next 5 years?
    • I’d like to get an RV and travel around Florida, North Carolina, and Ohio and then head out west, north and south and have a good look at a few cities like Portland, Seattle, and Santa Fe.
  • What can I do to take better care of myself?
    • See a doctor for a check up; get my teeth fixed, exercise.
  • What hobbies would I like to try?
    • Hiking, bicycling; I mean, I know how to walk and ride a bike but I haven’t made a habit of biking since I was a kid and I’d like to combine it with photography for instance.
  • When have I done something that I thought I couldn’t do?
    • Many times. Anything that takes time to learn and develop into a skill; and then things you think you could never do until you don’t have a choice in the matter. Most people can’t imagine surviving the death of their parents; I have; as well as close friends and a fiance. It isn’t like you get choose to not go on after something like that; you don’t get to stop existing when other people do.
  • At the end of my life, what do I want my legacy to be?
    • Turn my journals and blogs over to one of those living history archives, maybe they can get some use out of it all. As for everyone else, remember me fondly and go on about your own lives, be the best people you can be. What else does there have to be?

MY NOMINEES:

I am going to skip nominating anyone  for this tag due to it’s length and the personal nature of some of its questions. I am sure many people would not mind either of these elements in a tag, but others might. I don’t know any of you well enough to be able to distinguish between who would be uncomfortable and who would welcome it as a challenge. Therefore, if you are reading and wish to take up the challenge, you can volunteer and consider yourself nominated.

Cheers!

***Note: due to number of questions this piece was written over a period of several days with completion on May 7th, 2018. It was held back from posting for a few more days so as to not interfere with current post topic schedule.