Everybody has goals, aspirations or whatever, and everybody has been at a point in their life where nobody believed in them.”- Eminem.

I am not sure if everyone has goals necessarily, I didn’t for years, so it is entirely possible there are people out there who just don’t, because they weren’t taught to have them. But likely most people at least have dreams and aspirations; our culture runs off dreams and aspirations, it sells them everywhere, on and off the net. Sometimes I think the internet got invented because we were running out of trees to use for catalogs and magazines.

It is also likely most people have been at a point in their lives where it seemed like nobody believed in them.

Not everyone; there are people who know they have people who believe in them. If you grew up in a pretty good place where pro-social behaviors are the norm, then it is likely true that no matter what the problem was, you had people around you that you knew believed in you. No matter what. Grandparents, parents, siblings, friends, teachers, professors, even supervisors. You might have realized early on it’s a perceptual error.

Likewise there might be a very few out there who did not have grandparents, parents, siblings. There might be a very few sad souls whose friends weren’t very supportive. Maybe they had teachers, professors, and supervisors who for whatever reason just never took any notice. Maybe you grew up in a place where anti-social behaviors are more  the norm; and you just kind of blended in to the background.

In that case, you might be a bit more inclined to feel like nobody believes in you. That is a pretty sad state of affairs, to feel like nobody believes in you. You might sit around and mope about it; you might get to thinking there must be something wrong with you. That you aren’t important, or you have no value to anyone else in your life. Pretty soon you might stop believing in you too; after all, what is the point, right?

This is where our own thinking and emotions can get the better of us; especially since they influence each other. You have certainly heard people say things like “don’t over-think it“, or “you think too much“? There is nothing wrong with thinking, speculation, or imagination, not in and of themselves. But when you throw emotion into it, or engage in a tendency toward pessimism, it can get dodgy.

You can think yourself into a bad mental place. You can also think yourself out of a bad mental place. A lot of the time it has everything to do with the content of our emotions, and those can be much harder to control. Feeling like nobody believes in us is a sure-fire way to think ourselves into being blind to the people who have always been there, believing in us, because we are too busy paying attention to the wrong people.

There will always be people around who are patently oblivious. They have no interest in us because there is nothing in it for them. People have a tendency to engage in self-interest. If you can do nothing for them, they have no reason to take notice of you. But they are not everybody either. The idea that people fall into categories like “everybody” and “nobody” is an illusion; it is an error in perception.

If you let yourself think (imagine, speculate) that nobody believes in you, that everybody is oblivious to your very existence, you will sabotage your own ability to believe in yourself. It can cascade outward; people can stop believing in you, or start believing in you depending on whether or not you believe in you. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy; this error in perception.

It is closer to the truth that most people, almost everybodyhas someone who believes in them. So believe in yourself too. And when you meet someone who doesn’t believe in you, don’t take it personal. Just make sure you keep on believing in yourself and the rest will eventually fall into place. It is one element of who we are that we absolutely can control.

Also, be pro-social. If someone believes in you, believe in them right back. You will both be better for it.

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